ANGER explosion

Crackers during Diwali are an integral part of celebrations. The deafening sound of sutli bomb is because of explosion and in contrast the spinners (haat chakra or zamin chakra) offer a pleasant site to watch. Whether bomb or a spinner both contain same gun powder (Barud) that gives different results when ignited. Both these crackers are packed with energy but the way energy is released makes the difference. Same principle holds true for ANGER. The energy that is generated due to ANGER needs to be released appropriately else it might explode and cause damage. Let the energy be slowly released as in sparklers or spinners and not like a bomb.

In childhood many of us might have experienced scolding from our parents. It’s normal, it is a part of our growing up and, care and concern of our parents for us. I know a child who made some mistake that angered the parents. The parents exploded and the poor child was shocked. The child failed to react, stood still and was lost, looking blank. All this because of the ANGER explosion. It took a while for the child to return to normalcy. Days passed by and the parents also realized their mistake. As luck would have it, the child committed similar mistake again. This time the parents because of the previous experience did not explode but appropriately released their ANGER. The child sensed the emotions and took immediate corrective steps. There was no psychological trauma for the child. Parents and the child both were comfortable.

We come across similar situations at our work place also. We need to react appropriately. Goal is to accomplish the objective. Explosion will not help as it might damage the relationship and the persons may nurse the grudge. Slow and appropriate release of the ANGER can do a better a job. Think about it, you might agree.

Explosions do not work. I learnt this in my childhood on my farm. I have seen mighty bulls drawing the cart just refusing to move forward after being beaten by cartman. Urgency to return home forces the cartman to thrash the bulls that are also stressed by day’s hard work. The thrashing is like explosion of ANGER and a stage comes when the bull squats and doesn’t stand up. Only after a while with a friendly pat to express apology, the bull will stand up and will run back home. If animals are so sensitive to explosion, humans are sure to be. So take care and be gentle.

ANGER and Motivation

Motivation is an established path for success. Every living creature needs motivation. A dolphin will not perform in the show if there is no motivation. Every time dolphin completes the act, it gets a mouthful fish. Getting fish is the desire for the dolphin for which it performs. Likewise every human being has some desires. These desires vary from individual to individual and can be simple or complex, rational or irrational. The corrupt peon at land revenue office in Teeen (Bachchan starer) has a simple desire of owning a scooter, while old Kapoor (played by Rishi Kapoor) in Kapoor & Sons had a desire for a naked stroll with girls in Hawaii. So the desires can be of any type. What helps an individual to achieve their desires is motivation, intrinsic as well as extrinsic.

ANGER can stimulate the motivation. Generally a combination of intrinsic and extrinsic works well to trigger the race for achievement. Success of most of Vijay’s (roles played by Bachchan) was because of ANGER. Had there been no ANGER, there would have been no motivation and no success. Two generations of India has grown with ANGER and Vijay.

In 1969 in second test against Australia at Kanpur, which ended in draw, Gundappa Vishwanath scored duck in the first innings and scored 137 with the help of 25 fours in the second innings. Gundappa must have been angry with self for scoring a duck and that might have motivated him to score century in the second innings. That was his success over the frustration.

There are many instances in professional career that triggers self motivation. Be it unreasonable targets and deadlines, irritating boss, low salary and many. These all can trigger ANGER and this emotion needs to be cashed in to achieve. Those who do this are the winners and those who don’t are the laggards. Get motivated for achievements and not for the revenge.

Anyone can get angry when there is refusal for something that one really needs. This can motivate an individual or an organization to work hard, think out of the box and fulfill the desire, the need. Had USA not denied supercomputer to India or Russia not backed out to supply cryogenic fuel to India, ISRO would not have been what they are today. The refusal to supply technology angered many and was an opportunity to develop own technology and be world class. ANGER to motivation and motivation to success is the path. Be on this path, get angry, get motivated, be successful and be happy. So get angry and be happy.

ANGER - External or Internal

One might get angry because something has happened outside one’s body that has triggered anger. This is external irritant. It can be anything, government increasing service tax, or traffic signal not functioning or an irritating email from your boss or a unsolicited marketing call. These all are external factors that might cause anger. One may ignore it or decided not to react or accept it with pinch of salt like the increased tax. Not reacting or ignoring individuals might cause anger in those individuals but that’s fine. External sources are easier to handle, just by ignoring. But internal source is most difficult being within.  

One of my friends’s good looking; fair complexion daughter got married to a dark complexion, kind of ugly looking Sri Lankan in USA. My friend got angry sitting back home in Mumbai while the source was situated in USA. Very often when India loses a cricket match, being played in some part of the world but watched on TV back home, the anger flares up at home, thousands of miles away. But these situations can be handled. My friend went to his favourite Baba (Spiritual Guru) for spiritual solace and the one who was upset with India’s loss went to a nearby pub. Spirit was involved in both the cases but of different kind.

Someone busted crackers in Srinagar after India lost the T20 match to West Indies in 2016 WCC. The crackers exploded and the outbursts were at far off places. The source delivered what it had to. It was intentional and damage was contented at the source but not elsewhere. This was because the source was external. If the source is internal then the situation is catastrophic. 

Imagine a gas cylinder exploding. Source and outburst are at one place. Leakage of gas causing damage is different than the explosion at the source. If one gets angry with self then the damage is of high order. Anger can damage the individual, destroy the individual. The individual may harm himself/herself if unable to harm others. And this depends upon the individual. A bully can vent anger on others and cause damage to others and including self damage. A weak hearted person may harm self but not surrounding or others. He/she may try to inflict injuries on self, may try to commit suicide which is meek response to self anger. Anger on self should give a new direction to life and should be taken as a difficult lesson. Mistakes happen, nothing wrong in that. Everyone errs. All decisions cannot be right. Cool down, it's not the end of the world. Be a phoenix and start once again with more zeal and enthusiasm. Shade the guilt and be happy.

ANGER is ENERGY

Anger is a form of energy. There are two major forms of energy, Potential and Kinetic. Potential energy is stored within whereas kinetic energy is produced. Heat is a form of kinetic energy, that can turn into fire. Heat is produced by friction. In primeval days logs of wood were rubbed against each other to generate heat and start the fire. So any friction can give rise to heat that can turn into fire. And once the fire is produced it can cook the food or burn the farm. In view of this the fire is to be used for beneficial activities. So you take the call for using the fire. This energy can help you or destroy you. To sum up friction leads to heat and heat to the fire. This is a kinetic energy. While talking we use the phrases like don’t rub him on wrong side or he is on fire. Thus the origin of fire is friction that holds true even for humans.

We often hear the cricket commentator saying that so and so is on fire and sixes were raining all over. It did happen so on Kingsmead in inaugural T20 of 2007. The match was between India and England. Yuvraj Singh was being provoked by Andrew Flintoff after he was hit for two boundaries in that over. Flintoff used some foul language and said I will cut your throat off. Yuvraj told Flintoff “you see this bat in my hand. You know where I am gonna hit you with this bat?"

Flintoff was lucky that he didn’t bowl next over and poor Stuart Broad faced the outburst of Yuvraj’s energy with six sixes in the over. Yuvraj was on fire. The verbal friction between Flintoff and Yuvraj resulted in the heat that ignited fire in Yuvraj. Flintoff wasted his energy in stupid comment about cutting throat while Yuvraj chose to use the energy to create a record. Yuvraj has stored potential energy coupled with the kinetic energy that got produced took him to a different height in his cricketing career. 

Anger certainly creates energy and one has to use it for beneficial effect. Yuvraj got angry and was happy. So get angry and be happy.

Don't blame ANGER

Anger unfortunately many times gets blamed for the final outcome if it is adverse. No one blames the anger or credits the anger if the final outcome is favourable. Anger is intangible but it can give tangible results, either good or bad. And this depends on how one has channelized the anger. It is strange but true and very much in line with human nature. Anger is an essential emotion. It has to be there in normal human being. Among Marathi saints there was one Sant Namdeo. There are many stories about his quality of not getting angry. But he was a saint after all. We are not; anger is very common emotion for us. Not getting angry is possible for those who are at the stage of self-actualization, we are still away from that stage.

In cricket sledging is very common. The purpose is to induce anger. In many cases the sledging will deliver the result the way it is handled. If it is initiated by the bowler then his next delivery may go for a six or get him a wicket. It depends on how the batsman has mentally reacted. Indian test squad had a fast bowler from Mumbai. His name was Ramakant Desai. He was called Tiny because of his height. He was just 5’6”, but a deadly fast bowler. He held the record of youngest Indian pacer to get five wicket haul in Test. He turned twenty just few days after the record. In one of his overseas tour during the dinner hosted by the host board a senior official was introduced to Ramakant Desai as India’s fast bowler. The senior board official scanned Ramakant from head to toe and toe to head and sarcastically said, “did I hear Chinaman”? Ramakant was offended but decided not to react verbally and transformed the anger in action on the field and reduced the opposition to pulp the very next day. The anger made him do a better job. Many batsman “talk with bat” when criticized. So anger helps you to progress, do better if handled correctly.

Do you remember how ANGER helped Inspector Vijay Khanna to progress in life? He got a good friend like Sher Khan and wife Mala. Thanks to the anger. His response to anger had to be different because of his profession. We can’t do that. Being an inspector of Police, his reactions were aggressive, more volatile. However the anger changed the life of the movie character Vijay Khanna and the real life hero Amitabh Bachhan. The movie Zanzeer gave him title of “Angry Young Man” and changed his career path and also got him Jaya Bhaduri.

There are many stories about response to anger resulting in progress. It’s possible but one has to get angry to achieve high goals and then be happy. 

Channelize ANGER

Anger is an emotion and all living beings have this. Someone gets angry fast while some take long time. A cat or a dog gets angry much faster than an elephant. Everyone has a different level of endurance to the irritants responsible for anger. Same is applicable to humans; some get angry easily while some are labelled as cool. However the emotion is natural.

Anger comes out, it gets expressed. Someone may tighten the fists, some may have red face and red eyes, some may stop talking, some may shout. It’s the expression. This expression has to show. Modifications can be made, don’t shout but stop talking. Tighten the fists but punch the punching bag. Let emotions come out. Take care that the outburst of emotions should not cause further damage to you or others. So there has to be channelization of emotional response. You get angry, if needed let others know it but your anger should not be a catalyst for damaging reactions. Anger is like fire, if someone is cold the fire may have to be nearer to that person to warm up and certainly not to burn down. If someone feels the heat to be unbearable then keep distance. Both know the fire is there but it’s for you to keep the safe distance and maintain a comfort zone. If this fire remains within then there is bound to be internal damage. Don’t suppress anger, divert it, channelize it. Your reactions will depend on this and therefore the outcome, the results.

I remember two stories from Panchatantra. Lion is main character in these two stories. In one story the rabbit reaches late the lion’s den and cooks up a story for the lion. He tells lion that there is another lion in the jungle that prevented him and thus the delay. Lion is angry because of the delayed arrival of the rabbit. The possible presence of another lion in his area furthered his anger. We all know that the rabbit takes lion to the well, where he sees his own reflection and thinks it’s another lion, jumps in the well to fight and dies.

In another story a tiny mouse disturbs a sleeping lion by jumping over him. Lion gets angry and catches the mouse. Lion threatens to kill the mouse that pleads mercy and tells lion that he will be of help in future. The angry lion thinks for a moment, ridicules the mouse and releases. Sometime in future the lion gets trapped in the nets of the hunter and as we all know, the mouse cuts the net with his sharp teeth and lion gets released.

In both the stories lion gets angry, both express their anger but one channelizes to end his life while other one channelizes to get fresh lease of life. Anger was the common factor.

It’s natural to get angry, do get angry but work out in such way that you emerge winner and be happy. 

Disclaimer: Every individual is different therefore the way one handles anger will be different. The author’s thought are of his own and are not being forced on anyone. The reader can totally disregard/disagree and author respects his/her views.

Get Angry Be Happy

I understand the title and subject. Anger is very delicate yet volatile subject. It’s controversial. It’s very obvious question that how one can be happy by getting angry. But one certainly can. One can get angry and yet feel happy. It’s not sadistic pleasure. Read with unbiased mind, you will understand my viewpoint. All that I am going to express is about your anger to some irritant and not your anger in response to other person’s anger directed towards you. These two are different. First one is your own expression, while for the other one, you might be the cause for expression. To make second one simple, you make a mistake and someone gets angry and you get angry because someone is angry. These two are therefore handled differently.

Anger is a normal reaction of every living creature to any irritant, be it physical or mental. It’s the emotion and that is perfectly normal. Human beings are the one who can control this emotion. But is it normal to control natural emotions? And to what extent? Ayurveda talks of Avarodh. It’s the cause of Vata, Pitta, Kaph imbalance in the body that gives rise to many diseased conditions. Holding back anger is a kind of Avarodh, that can be termed in English as to resist or to subdue or to control. Any of this is unnatural. What needs to vent out must go out. Even flatulence can mimic heart problems and cause alarm. Therefore anything that’s not allowed to go out or vent out, is going to cause some internal damage. And that is more detrimental for individual.

There are large number of books that talk about Anger Management and many of them advocate to do deep breathing or count upto ten or even hundred before reacting. I feel this very funny. Imagine someone did a mistake and you are getting angry. And then you start counting? I am aware about Pranayam, meditation but I am also aware about Avaradh and the damage it can cause to individual. So practice timed/slow release of anger. Take time to decide type of reaction and time to react. Therefore I never count ten to divert my attention, I rather try to understand the anger, analyze the anger and decide course of action. There are different ways to vent out and I will mention about it later.

Consider driving home after a hectic day, you are caught in a traffic jam or slow moving traffic. The congestion is the irritant. You might get angry. You can’t change anything but you can at least tighten your fists and curse. Roll up the window glass, if not already done, and scream. Let the anger be out. Abuse the system, the indisciplined drivers and anything that you feel is responsible for the mess. You are not instigating anyone. Express and cool down. Let the matter end there. After venting out your anger, you are going to feel better, you are going to feel happy and by chance the traffic starts moving after your shouting, you are going to feel much better. And that’s why, Get Angry and Be Happy. Someone may keep cool; keep driving, unknowingly built up the anger and reach home. What next? A simple delay to answer the doorbell will make him/her explode at spouse or anyone else who opens the door. The anger was within and was not allowed to get out at appropriate time and thus the delayed reaction at wrong place. Treat anger as footwear and keep it out. 

We are angry when things don’t work out the way we want. We are unhappy when we are restrained to do certain things. We are happy if there are no restrains. Don’t restrain your anger, vent it out then you are happy. So get angry and be happy. We will see how to do this effectively and with no harm to self and others as we proceed further. Till then practice your old art of counting ten…..and keep counting.

Disclaimer: Every individual is different therefore the way one handles anger will be different. The author’s thought are of his own and are not being forced on anyone. The reader can totally disregard/disagree and author respects his/her views.

TIME never returns

As TIME is not reversible, it can’t be reversed. Moments gone by cannot return. I am always reminded of Hindi song, Zindagi ke Safar Main Gujar Jate Hai Jo Makam, Phir Nahi Aate……(ज़िंदगी के सफर में गुजर जाते हैं जो मक़ाम फ़िर नहीं आते......), it’s so true. The precious moments lost are lost forever. One may earn back the money lost, one may regain lost confidence, lost prestige or any other material loss, but one cannot get back the TIME. Another thing that cannot return is departed souls and biological ageing. One can’t be young again, even Viagra has limitations for males and parlors for females.

The only way one can do well with the TIME is with its optimization. This is different than what the IT guys talk about LTO, GCC etc. For me it’s simple multitasking. Get into multitasking. Do few things together in a given time frame. Remember you can combine things that go well together. Many persons read newspapers in toilets, I hate it, but it’s multitasking. The other day I saw a funny combination, watch with lighter. I wonder what can be the applications of this combination, unless one wants to use timer to burn someone’s xxx. Climbing stairs rather than waiting for lift takes you to desired floor and gives much needed exercise so save on cardio time. Much of the multitasking will depend upon type of job you carry out and areas where you can save time by combining activities. I have seen a medical representative preparing for competitive exams while waiting in doctor’s chamber for his call. Good utilization of time while waiting for doctor rather than observing gloomy faces of sick people or watching a good looking nurse or receptionist. In this era your smart phones are a great source of information that can be used while traveling. Get useful information or mail your reports, rather than sending WhatsApp messages or forwarding useless jokes and other forwards. Talking on mobile phone while driving is also multitasking but that can end all your worries about tasks, just not multitasking. Combine right things to do together, it has its advantages but the big disadvantage of multitasking is you can do couple of things wrong at one time. Remember the moments lost are gone forever, so whatever is remaining use them for your enrichment, betterment. After all you have limited time.